Kona 24 hour

One of the things that bikes allow you to do (apart from take pretty photos, obsess about weight and write blogs) is partake in bike races. Some of these races are quite long - even 24 hours. With that in mind, super-sponsored-single-speed-second-coming-of-Christ Brett Bellchambers and I headed down to Forrest (nestled in the Otway Ranges southwest of Melbourne) for the Kona 24 hour race.

The Otway ranges are the wettest area in mainland Australia. Thursday saw around 50mm or rain. Friday night featured two storms of biblical proportions and ferocity, with a few tents flying around the campsite and more rain than Canberra sees in most months. Saturday brought more rain, as did Sunday. The stage was set for a truly epic race, if one that guaranteed that the phrase "happy as a pig in mud" would never be used again.

Brett was racing as a solo rider on his singlespeed, while I was using gears and riding for the Kona 4 man team. The news of Brett's arrival had already scared most of the local singlespeeders into shock. The solo field was packed with stars - Mr English the World Champion, Andrew Bell, Scott Chancellor and Jason McAvoy. In the teams race, an epic battle between Felt and Torq was approaching, although they also seemed to be having a competition to see who could be the most reckless going through solo pit lane. Gordon Scott provided a lift down, and his team of three rode gallantly on the track, and performed even better in the local pub.

The Kona 24 hour is novel because it features 3 courses. This was a lifesaver, as each course was trashed after a couple of hours because of the rain. Hillclimbs were so greasy that only every second pedal revolution would propel you forwards, and cornering in the singletrack was often an exercise in two wheel drifting. With my complete lack of handling skillz (or the fact I was riding a 29er), the courses also featured some flat-out, romping 50km/h fire road sections which were lots of fun.

Brett started the race by attacking the solo field on the first climb in order to avoid dismounting. He rode strongly throughout the entire race and the torrid conditions to smash his way into fourth overall and yet another comprehensive SS victory. Here's a photo of him, relatively early on and not too muddy. By the end of the race, the only white bits left were some rather bloodshot eyes.
The Kona team I was in also rode strongly through the race to take the victory in the Men's four, although we were notably annihiliated by the Merida team in the Mixed 4 category. My laps lacked flow, featured horrible shifting and some nice crashes. Here's a picture of me, about to slam into that rather large tree, and then into the innocent photographer. On that note, photo credits (and catching credits) to Russ Baker!

Anyway, as this event coincided with Singlespeed Nationals at Awaba, I don't actually know what happened at the shop on the weekend. So hopefully this blog post will ensure that I actually have a position next weekend.... but races are worth doing. The stories of endurance on solo pit row, the poignant expressions of pain and self-transcendence, the comparatively soft expressions of pain from team riders and the stupid jokes on course..... ahh yes, that is why we do this.

Profile Number 2: Joel

The titular hero of this piece is leaving for Sydney for a few weeks to have himself vigorously trained and shaped by the Army into, well, a proper hero who might one day save the World from the daunting spectre of communism. Even though the Berlin wall went down 20 years ago, communism is still a potent threat to the ability of Western citizens to have no-one else to blame for their own inadequacies. I swear they're the reason I'm not racing the Fling this weekend, dammit.

Anyway, in his absence, there will be a Joel-shaped hole in the universe for some temporal duration. While I won't speculate on the shape of the hole, it does still give me an opportunity to bitch about him behind his back. *snigger*

Joel's story starts, like most stories of nerdy guys, in a dungeon-shaped anteroom attached to his house, wherein he sat earnestly programming addictively simply games in Turbo Pascal. However, his attention was soon drawn to bicycles, and the possibilities of a world without pixellation, even if it wasn't as elegant syntaxically. Joel became a randonneur, one of those friendly old guys who rides insane distances noncompetitively on strikingly comfortable road bikes. Except Joel's bike wasn't comfortable as, for some reason, he decided to ride these Audax events on a fixed gear (freaking hipsters). Fixed gear radness abounded as Joel crossed mountain ranges, battled headwinds and did all sorts of stuff way too epic actually to have happened on a fixie. He rode mountain bike trails fixed, an Audax super series, and also dabbled in the fine arts of Trials riding (editor note - 2009 Australian Sport Trials National Champion after 0 training hours). Joel also spent time in France, working on his sleaze and cycling snobbery.

This all culminated in an attempt at Paris-Brest-Paris in 2007, in which the weather was foul and truly epic. After this, Joel's knees started to remind him that 20rpm was not the optimal climbing cadence, and his attention shifted. Nowdays he still rides Audax a bit, and races endurance mountain bike stuff under the cynical guise of the "Reluctant Cyclist". I find this nomiker to be only a partial truth - he's only reluctant when the trail points uphill, and then it is most audible and closer to "enraged and indignant cyclist" than "reluctant cylist". He and Claire have won multiple mixed pair categories, including the 8 hour series, and the Scott 24 hour.

Joel's a full-time mechanic and bike encyclopedia at the shop, where he mixes knowledge and gear-freak tendencies with the cynicism and profundity of a true randonneur. He also can be seen riding along on one wheel rather a lot.

Of Bling and Simplicity.

Greetings, interweb folks.

This is a mid-essay rant. Oddly enough, for an ANU student, it'll be devoid of Marxism, postmodern jargon and the word "context" will be strictly forbidden.

Singlespeeders often wax lyrical about the state of simplicity and zen attained by their clean, silent drivetrains. Instead of having derailleurs dangling asymmetrically from their bikes, their dishless wheels and (frequently slack) 8 speed chains are tensioned by many other ineffectual methods, including sliding dropouts that slide a little too freely, and eccentric bottom brackets which creak more than the average ANU exchange student's $20 K-Mart special.

But this is forgiveable. Unlike gears, (which are incidentally just chain tensioners with commitment issues), the noble goal is the reduction of complexity, rather than the confounding of mid-ride choices. When I worked as an indoor cricket umpire, I discovered that people couldn't count to 8, so frequently slipped in 7 ball overs to make up time. No wonder, then, that 27 gears are beyond the grasp of so many riders who, in their trauma, turn to the unity of one.

In this context (gah!) - the post-post-modern age of cynical, retrocyclists with their ergonomic moustache bars and ironic bells - a most disturbing trend has emerged. A veritable paradigm shift in the perception of singlespeeds. Enter the blinglespeed. The specially shaped carbon stays mated to a scandium tubeset for a "laterally stiff yet vertically compliant" rear end. The rear wheel that just HAS to be built around a Chris King singlespeed hub, because having a dished wheel with spacers would (in the words of Mavic?) inevitably compromise the wheel's ability to "keep its integrity". The gratuitous use of titanium frames. The magnesium brake caliper to reduce weight. The constant search for chainrings and cogs that are lighter than the ubiquitous steel Surly products. The eventual decision to run a 9spd chain because of the 20% weight saving, and 30% reduction in durability. The decision to enter the Angry Doctor on said singlespeed, which turns into rather a pleasant WALK around Mogo State Forest.

And, just to add insult to injury, all these blinglespeeders will, inevitably, get cleaned up on a cold winter's day by a rather androgenously dressed man in wifebeater, denim hot pants and Dunlop Volleys astride his Voodoo Agwe commuter. He may or may not be asking for the bike path to Civic.


Now back to the land of essays!
*Whoosh*
- DeflatED.

Mal Adjusted Individual Profile number one; Ed.

This is Ed (click for bigger Ed). Ed has been hanging around at the shop in a sporadic fashion for a few years now. He sometimes finds time to work there, around commitments at university.

Ed's university career is not our business, however. His biking career is of more interest to us.

Ed is a very talented mountain biker.

His racing achievements in the last 12 months are substantial. He has come from being a fairly mediocre racer, results wise, to being a menacing beast to all who dare enter his race category. Those who dare are very few. His is a very special category. Ed's category is Solo Single Speed.

- Joel

Welcome to Mal Adjusted Words

This page has been set up to transliterate thoughts, musings, rantings and bicycles into text and image format, fit for transfer to the hearts and minds of an audience via the long-suffering but stalwartly efficient messenger classes of copper, silicon and electromagnetic waves.

Through this medium we hope to share information on bikes we build, bikes we like, bikes we ride, bikes we transform and bikes we fix.

We hope to share our experiences of riding, racing, travelling and generally being alive.

This medium promises to be easier to update, more personal and easier to keep up to date on, given RSS feeds and so on. It also gives any readers we pick up along the way the opportunity to comment and respond positively, negatively or meh-ly. Our traditional (?) web presence at www.maladjusted.com.au will remain, as will our email address, which remains as staff (like the stick) @ (shift+2) maladjusted.com.au.

Our most traditional and most important presence, however, remains the tangible one at 11 Woolley St, Dickson, Canberra, ACT, Australia. There you will find...

A Bicycle Shop.

- Joel

Mic Check

Mic check, one, one two.

*fiddle*

one Two, one Two.

Yeeeeaaah, yeah.

*thumbs up*

- Joel